Notes on Slutshaming

by Modern Miss Manners


My ladies. Let’s start with the basics: not every other lady out there has the same aspirations as you. Not everyone’s biological clock is ticking. There are ladies who have no desire to get married. There are ladies with life goals that do not include monogamous relationships – and those whose goals just don’t include relationships right now.

Point is: you don’t have a right to judge them through your own set of goals. Women who have more sex with more people than you are not “sad” or “desperate” by nature. They probably don’t give a fuck about what you have to say about them, anyhow. They’re just doing whatever they feel like doing – which seems way more fun than whatever you’re losing your shit over.

I mean, really: have you ever “worried” about how many women a dude friend is sleeping with? Or is he just “dating around?” (Sidebar: dudes, these rules apply to you as well. You and I both know you have no good reason to call us sluts, no matter what you heard we did with that guy at that party that one time. Get your shit together.)

If you just don’t like a bitch, deal with it. Figure out what’s really bothering you about her, and attack that aspect of her personality when you’re shit talking her! Way more fun! Don’t attack her sexuality merely because that makes it feel easy or valid to dislike another woman. It’s none of your fucking (sex pun) business.

Be good to your fellow ladies. Cut the slutshaming out of your life, and replace it with funny stories, coffee, hair braiding and high fives. Trust.