One for the Dudes: On Asking a Young Lady to Dance

by Modern Miss Manners

I have some dude friends who love to dance. They might pretend they don’t, but they’d be lying. I’ve seen at least one of them dance so hard that he actually fell off the stage at The Cove. That’s dedication.

This is the way to a lady’s heart on a night out in NYC. Start up the dance party in a fun(ny) manner – go after that cute lady you see having fun gettin’ down with her friends. Make all of them fall in love with you at first sight – simply by busting out a funny move. (Don’t pull the “twirl her around then grab her ass” move. That’s for later. If you play it right.) Be crazy, be weird, fall off a stage – just don’t immediately go in for the kill. Grinding up on a stranger from behind is not often sexy fun for said stranger. Unless you’re both totally faded, and it’s too late for you at that point, anyway. Grinding is probably all either of you are capable of. Go forth.

Anyway, back to the point: enthusiasm is key. A willingness to shout cheesy-as-fuck lyrics in my face, turn the awkward sexy dance moves around and back it up on me, or just flail around like a demented puppet can change the course of an evening. Do this, and we will probably be making out in a corner in T minus five minutes. I feel pretty confident in saying that these moves will also work (and, let’s be honest – have already worked) on a majority of my fellow ladyfriends. They’re just that good.