Modern Miss Manners

Emily Post for the dazed + confused NYC twentysomething

Month: June, 2012

What to Drink in a Dive Bar

 

– Beer

– Whiskey on the rocks

– Shots of tequila or whiskey (not both)

– Liquor-based mixed drinks with no more than two ingredients (the buck stops at “vodka soda”)

 

That’s it. Nothing else falls under the list of acceptable dive bar libations. Unless, of course, said bar offers a special (likely deadly) concoction. The bar I frequented during my undergrad years offered “Red Light, Green Light” shots. You can imagine how that went (hint: the Green Light shots contained milk).

But we had no choice: sometimes you just gotta drink a dive’s disgusting specials. Them’s the rules.

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Host + Guest Etiquette: Dinner Parties

 

Dinner Party Host:

Did you forget the paper plates? For shame.

Make enough food. Kinda. Hopefully it’s a potluck, and you’ll only have to provide the main dish(es). Have some beer and wine on hand.

Ask people to bring the following: booze of all kinds, bread, salads, side dishes and desserts.

Also, clean your fucking apartment.

Voila. You now qualify as the Martha Stewart of your social circle.

 

Dinner Party Guest:

Make that one thing you know how to make for sharing – if you don’t have that one thing, ask your mom or Google how to make something simple and delicious. (I seriously doubt any of us are at an age wherein we won’t be invited to potlucks: which are always a fun(ny) cuisine free-for-all.)

Check in with your host: what does he or she need more of? Did they forget that dinner parties require large amounts of booze? Paper plates? Ice? Bring that thing they forgot. Be a potluck savior.

 

That’s about it. Nothing’s more cozy and adorable than a boozy, lazy potluck with friends that ultimately turns in to a nap party. It is the best thing.

One for the Dudes: On Asking a Young Lady to Dance

I have some dude friends who love to dance. They might pretend they don’t, but they’d be lying. I’ve seen at least one of them dance so hard that he actually fell off the stage at The Cove. That’s dedication.

This is the way to a lady’s heart on a night out in NYC. Start up the dance party in a fun(ny) manner – go after that cute lady you see having fun gettin’ down with her friends. Make all of them fall in love with you at first sight – simply by busting out a funny move. (Don’t pull the “twirl her around then grab her ass” move. That’s for later. If you play it right.) Be crazy, be weird, fall off a stage – just don’t immediately go in for the kill. Grinding up on a stranger from behind is not often sexy fun for said stranger. Unless you’re both totally faded, and it’s too late for you at that point, anyway. Grinding is probably all either of you are capable of. Go forth.

Anyway, back to the point: enthusiasm is key. A willingness to shout cheesy-as-fuck lyrics in my face, turn the awkward sexy dance moves around and back it up on me, or just flail around like a demented puppet can change the course of an evening. Do this, and we will probably be making out in a corner in T minus five minutes. I feel pretty confident in saying that these moves will also work (and, let’s be honest – have already worked) on a majority of my fellow ladyfriends. They’re just that good.