How to Drink in Public: The Rules
by Modern Miss Manners
1. If you’re in a park (site of endless romantic dates drinking beers outta styrofoam cups and neckin’ in the grass – that’s what NYC is all about once the weather is nice), it gets tricky: you’re gonna have to pee like, immediately. Situate yourself near the bathrooms. Just know where they are, trust. You will be DYING by the end of your supposed-to-be-just-like-an-NYC-romcom afternoon. It will be only com, and absolutely no rom. Also, you’ll probs nearly pee in those adorbs hotshorts you picked out just for the occasion. Don’t do that.
2. The aforementioned styrofoam cups are clutch. Do not overtly pop open a beer in the park. Do not be the idiot who gets a citation in Prospect Park for an open container violation. Ladies don’t get caught.
3. Don’t fall asleep in public. It’s not a good look. It’s a sad look.
4. If you’re greyin’ out, grab a cab. One too many daytime margs. Your time’s up. I’ve been one step away from falling off the side of the ever-perilous ship of day drinking dreams that is The Frying Pan on more than one occasion. I refuse to be their first (publicly reported) casualty.
5. Wear shades – and pants or shorts. No strapless tops that aren’t strapped to your tits. Preventative measures. No need to flash the entire city in the harsh light of day. Unless you’re into that kinda thing.
6. Eat some fucking snacks, for the love of god, please don’t forget to eat. Pizza parties and naps are radical ways to end an afternoon of day drinking – gives you time to start it all over again if it’s a weekend. Don’t waste it.