On Wearing Flip Flops
by Modern Miss Manners
Don’t do it. Wearin’ flippy flops in NYC is horrifyingly close to walking around our infestation-friendly city barefoot. You’re one misstep away from losing a flip flop in traffic, thus being forced to wander around shoeless, contract tetanus, die young, etc. It’ll all be very old timey and dramatic. You’ll make the Post. Congrats.
Flip flops are the Garfield of the footwear world. And they will kill you.